Songs!

 EX-WIVES [THE QUEENS ] 

Divorced Beheaded Died

Divorced Beheaded Survived And tonight, we are Live

Listen up let me tell you a story A story that you think you've heard before We know you know our names and our fame and our faces Know all about the glories and the disgraces

I'm done 'cause all this time I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme So I picked up a pen and a microphone History's about to get overthrown

Divorced Beheaded Died

Divorced Beheaded Survived But just for you tonight We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the historemix Switching up the flow as we add the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives Raising up the roof till we hit the ceiling Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're Ex-Wives

All you ever hear and read about Is our ex and the way it ended But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush You're gonna find out how we got, unfriended

Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice 'Cause we're taking you to court And every Tudor rose has its thorns And you're gonna hear 'em live In consort

Divorced Beheaded Died

Divorced Beheaded Survived But just for you tonight We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the historemix Switching up the flow as we add the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives Dancing to the beat till the break of day, once We're done we'll start again like it's the Renaissance Everybody knows that we used to be six wives But now we're Ex-Wives

My name's Catherine of Aragon Was married twenty-four years I'm a paragon Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican So if you try to dump me You won't try that again

I'm that Boleyn girl and I'm up next See I broke England from the church Yeah I'm that sexy Why did I lose my head? Well my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red

Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved (Rude) When my son was newly born, I died But I'm not what I seem or am I? Stick around and you'll suddenly see more

Ich bin Anne of Cleves Ja When he saw my portrait he was like Ja! But I didn't look as good as good as I did in my pic Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little-

Prick up your ears I'm the Catherine who lost her head (Beheaded) For my promiscuity outside of wed Lock up your husbands Lock up your sons Kate Howard is here and the fun's begun

Five down I'm the final wife I saw him to the end of his life I'm the survivor Catherine Parr I bet you wanna know how I got this far I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far Do you wanna know how we got this far then?

Welcome to the show, to the historemix Switching up the flow as we add the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives Get your hands up, get this party buzzing You want a queen bee, well there's half a dozen Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're Ex-Wives

One, two, three, four, five... six!



NO WAY [CATHERINE OF ARAGON]

N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. There's no way. You must agree that baby in all the time I been by your side, I've never lost control no matter how many times I knew you lied. Have my golden rule, Gotta keep my cool, yeah, baby.

And even though you've had your fun, Running around with some pretty young thing, And even though you've had one son, With someone who don't own a wedding ring. No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word. No, baby.

I've put up with your sh-- like every single day. But now it's time to shh, and listen when I say.

You must think that I'm crazy, You wanna replace me, baby there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. If you think for a moment, I'd grant you annulment, just hold up there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, No way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, No way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. There's no way.

So you read a bible verse that I'm Cursed 'cause I was your brothers wife. You say it's a pity 'cause quoting Leviticus "I'll end up kidiless all my life" Well daddy weren't you there, when I gave birth to Mary? [Oh, hi baby]

You're just so full of sh-- must think that I'm naive. I won't back down won't shh, and no! I'll never leave.

You must think that I'm crazy, You wanna replace me, baby there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. If you thought it'd be funny, to send me to a nunnery, honey, there's, Nooooo, way, No way, No way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, Now way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. There's no way.

You got me down on my knees please Tell me what you think I've done wrong. Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along. If you can just explain a single Thing I've done to cause you pain, I'll go. No? You've got nothing to say? I'm not going away. There's no way!

You must think that I'm crazy, You wanna replace me, baby, there's, N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. You made me a wife, so I'll be queen till the end of my life. N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. No way, No way, N-N-N-Nup-Na-Nup-Na-Nup-Na No way, No way, There's, N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way, There's No way!

 DON'T LOSE UR HEAD [ANNE BOLEYN] 

Grew up in the French Court Oui, oui, bonjour Life was a chore so (she set sail) 1522 came straight to the UK All the British dudes, lame Epic fail

Ooh, I wanna dance and sing Politics, not my thing Ooo, but then I met the King And soon my daddy said, you should try and get ahead

He wanted me, huh, obviously Messaging me like everyday Couldn't be better, then he sent me a letter and who am I kidding I was prêt-à-manger

Ooh, sent a reply Ooh, just saying hi Ooh, you're a nice guy I'll think about it maybe, xo baby

Here we go (You sent him kisses) I didn't know I would move in with his misses (What?) Get a life You're living with his wife? Like, what was I meant to do?

Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said I'm just tryna have some fun Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head I didn't mean to hurt anyone LOL, say oh well Or go to hell I'm sorry not sorry 'bout what I said Don't lose your head

Three in the bed and the little one said If you wanna be wed, make up your mind Her or me, chum Don't wanna be some Girl in a threesome Are you blind?

Ooh, don't be bitter Ooh, 'cause I'm fitter Ooh, why hasn't it hit her? He doesn't want to bang you Somebody hang you

Here we go Your comic went viral I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you Mate, what was I meant to do?

Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said I'm just tryna have some fun Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head I didn't mean to hurt anyone LOL, say oh well Or go to hell I'm sorry not sorry 'bout what I said Don't lose your head

Tried to elope But the pope said nope Our only hope was Henry He got a promotion Caused a commotion Set in motion the C of E

The rules were so outdated Us two wanted to get x-rated Soon, ex-communicated Everybody chill, its totes God's will

Henry's out every night on the town Just sleeping around, like what the hell If that's how it's gonna be Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three Just to make him jell

Henry finds out and he goes mental He screams and shouts Like so judgemental You damn that witch Mate, just shut up I wouldn't be such a b- If you could get it up

Here we go (Is that what you said?) And now he's going 'round like off with her head (No)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it (Seems it) What was I meant to do? (What was she meant to do?) Like what was I meant to do? (What was she meant to do?) No, but what was I meant to do?

Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said I'm just tryna have some fun Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head I didn't mean to hurt anyone LOL, say oh well Or go to hell (she's going to hell) Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said Sorry not sorry 'bout what she said Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said Don't lose your head

Haha sorry

  HEART OF STONE [JANE SEYMOUR] 

You've got a good heart But I know it changes A restless tide, untamable

You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too You'd lift me high, or let me fall

But I took your hand, promised I'd withstand Any blaze you blew my way 'Cause something inside, it solidified And I knew I'd always stay

You can build me up, you can tear me down You can try but I'm unbreakable You can do your best, but I'll stand the test You'll find that I'm unshakeable When the fire's burnt When the wind has blown When the water's dried, you'll still find stone My heart of stone

You say we're perfect A perfect family You hold us close, for the world to see

And when I say you're the only one I've ever loved I mean those words truthfully

But I know Without my son your love could disappear I know it isn't fair, but I don't care 'Cause my love, will still be here

You can build me up, you can tear me down You can try but I'm unbreakable You can do your best, but I'll stand the test You'll find that I'm unshakeable When the fire's burnt The wind has blown The water's dried, you'll still find stone My heart of stone

Soon I'll have to go I'll never see him grow But I hope my son will know He'll never be alone 'Cause like a river runs dry And leaves it's scars behind I'll be by your side 'Cause my love Is set in stone

Yeahhh (You can build me up, you can tear me down) (You can try but I'm) Unbreakable (You can do your best, but I'll stand the test) (You'll find that I'm unshakeable) The fire's burnt The wind has blown The water's dried, you'll still find stone My heart of stone

Can't break me Can't break me Stone Can't break me Can't break me Stone Can't break me You'll still find stone My heart of stone

 HOUSE OF HOLBEIN [THE QUEENS] 

Welcome to the house To the Haus of Holbein Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut Ooh ja, ja The Haus of Holbein

Hans Holbein goes around the world Painting all of the beautiful girls From Spain, to France And Germany The king chooses one But which one will it be?

You bring the corsets We'll bring the cinches No one wants a waist over nine inches So what the make up contains lead poison? At least your complexion will bring all the boys in

Ignore the fear and you'll be fine We'll turn this vier into a nine So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'

'Cause now you're in the house In the Haus of Holbein! Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut Ooh ja, ja The Haus of Holbein

We must make sure the princesses look great When their time comes for the Holbein portrait We know what all the best inventions are To hold everything up Ja, it's wunderbar

For blonder hair, then you just add a Magical ingredient from your bladder Try these heels, so high it's naughty But we cannot guarantee that you'll still walk at forty

Ignore the fear and you'll be fine We'll turn this vier into a nine So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'

'Cause now you're in the house In the Haus of Holbein!

Ooh ja, das ist gut Ooh ja, ja The Haus of Holbein

 GET DOWN [ANNA OF CLEVES] 

Sittin' here all alone On a throne In a palace that I happen to own Bring me some pheasant Keep it on the bone

Fill my goblet up to the brim Sippin' on mead and I spill it on my dress With the gold lace trim Not very prim and proper Can't make me stop

I wanna go hunting, any takers? I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres Paid for with my own riches Where my hounds at? Release the bitches (Woof) Everyday Head back for a round of croquet, yeah 'Cause I'm a playa And tomorrow, I'll hit replay

You, you said that I tricked ya 'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture Too, too bad I don't agree So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see And you can't stop me 'cause

I'm the queen of the castle Get down, you dirty rascal Get down Get down Get down you dirty rascal Get down Get down 'Cause I'm the queen of the castle

When I get bored I go to court Pull up outside in my carriage Don't got no marriage So I have a little flirt with the footman As he takes my fur As you were

Making my way to the dance floor Some boys making advance I ignore them 'Cause my jam comes on the lute Looking cute Das ist gut

All eyes on me No criticism I look more rad than Lutheranism

Dance so hard that I'm causin' a sensation Okay ladies, let's get in reformation

You, you said that I tricked ya 'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture Too, too bad I don't agree So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see And you can't stop me 'cause

I'm the queen of the castle Get down, you dirty rascal Get down Get down (you dirty rascal) Get down Get down 'Cause I'm the queen of the castle

Now I ain't sayin' I'm a gold digger But check my prenup, and go figure Got gold chains Symbolic of my faith to the higher power In the fast lane My horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour Let me explain I'm a wiener schnitzel, not an English flower No one tells me I need a rich man Doin' my thing in my palace in Richmond

You, you said that I tricked ya (tricked ya) 'Cause I (I), I didn't look like my profile picture (no no) Too, too bad I don't agree (too bad I don't agree) So I'm gonna hang it up (hang it up, hang it up) for everyone to see And you can't stop, you can't stop me 'cause

I'm the queen of the castle Get down, you dirty rascal Get down (yeah, c'mon, ha!) Get down (get down with me) Get down you dirty rascal Get down (it's Anna of Cleves) (Aha-ha-ha, get) Get down (ow!) 'Cause I'm the queen of the castle

 ALL YOU WANNA DO [KATHERINE HOWARD] 

All you wanna do All you wanna do baby I think we can all agree I'm a ten amongst these threes All you wanna do All you wanna do baby And ever since I was a child I'd make the boys go wild All you wanna do All you wanna do baby Take my first music teacher, Henry Mannox I was young it's true but even then I knew The only thing you wanna to do is...

Broad, dark, sexy Mannox Taught me all about dynamics He was twenty three And I was thirteen going on thirty We'd spend hours strumming the lute Striking the chords and blowing the flute He plucked my strings all the way to G Went from major to minor, C to D

Tell me what you need What you want, you don't need to plead 'Cause I feel the chemistry Like I get you and you get me And maybe this is it He just cares so much it feels legit We have a connection I think this guy is different

'Cause all you wanna do All you wanna do baby Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see All you wanna do All you wanna do baby Is please me squeeze me birds and the bees me Run your fingers through my hair Tell me I'm the fairest of the fair Playtime's over The only thing you wanna do is...

But then there was another guy Francis Dereham

Serious, stern and slow Get's what he wants and he won't take no Passion in all that he touches The sexy secretary to the Dowager Duchess Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfil He even let me use his favourite quill Spilled Ink all over the parchment my wrist was so tired Still I came back the next day as he required

You say I'm what you need All you want you don't need to plead 'Cause I feel the chemistry Like I get you and you get me And I know this is it He just cares so much this one's legit We have a real connection I'm sure this time is different

'Cause all you wanna do All you wanna do baby Is touch me love me can't get enough see All you wanna do All you wanna do baby Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me You can't wait a second more To get My corset on the floor Playtime's over The only thing you wanna do is...

Yeah that didn't work out So I decided to have a break from boys And you'll never guess who I met!

Tall, large, Henry the Eighth Supreme head of the Church of England Globally revered Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard Made me a lady in waiting Hurled me and my family up in the world Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true That without me he doesn't know what he'd do

You say I'm what you need All you want we both agree This is the place for me I'm finally where I'm meant to be Then he starts saying all this stuff He cares so much he calls me love He says we have this connection I guess it's not so different

'Cause all you wanna do All you wanna do baby Is touch me, love me, can't get enough see All you wanna do All you wanna do baby Is seize me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me

There's no time for when or how 'cause you Just got to have me now Playtime's over The only thing you wanna do is...

So we got married Wooh...

With Henry it isn't easy His temper's short and his mates are sleazy Except for this one courtier He's a really nice guy, just so sincere The royal life isn't what I planned But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay And we hang out loads when the king's away

This guy finally Is what I want, the friend I need Just mates, no chemistry I get him and he gets me And there's nothing more to it He just cares so much he's devoted He says we have a connection I thought this time was different Why did I think he'd be different? But it's never, ever different

'Cause all you wanna do All you wanna do baby Is touch me, when will enough be enough? See All you wanna do All you wanna do baby Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me Bite my lip and pull my hair As you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over Playtime's over Playtime's over

The only thing The only thing The only thing you wanna do is...

  I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE [CATHERINE PARR] 

You know I love you, boy In every single way Though I love you, boy I'll miss you every day

Oh I love you, boy I wish that I could stay with you And keep the life I made with you And even though this feels so right I'm holding back the tears tonight

It's true I'll never be over you 'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you And now the hope is gone There's nothing left for me to do

You know it isn't true But I must say to you That I don't need your love, no, no I don't need your love, no, no It'll never be better than it was, no, no But I don't need your love, no, no

I've got no choice With the king I stay alive Never had a choice Been a wife twice before, just to survive I don't have a choice If Henry says "it's you", then it's you No matter how I feel It's what I have to do But if, somehow, I had that choice No holding back, I'd raise my voice

I'd say "Henry, yeah it's true I'll never belong to you 'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams To care for you"

"Ha, darling, get a clue There's nothing you can do I don't need your love, no, no No, I don't need your love, no, no There's nothing left to discuss, no, no But I don't need your love, no, no"

But I can't say that Not to the king So this is goodbye All my love Catherine

So I sent that letter to my love Got married to the king Became the one who survived I've told you about my life The final wife But why should that story Be the one I have to sing about Just to win? I'm out That's not my story There's so much more

Remember that I was a writer I wrote books and psalms and meditations Fought for female education So all my women could independently Study scripture I even got a woman to paint my picture Why can't I tell that story? 'Cause in history I'm fixed as one of six And without him I disappear We all disappear

So we had no choice But now it's us alone So we've got no choice No, we've got no choice We're taking back the microphone I'm gonna raise my voice They always said: "We need your love" But it's time for us to rise above

It's not what went down in history But tonight I'm singing this for me

Henry, yeah, I'm through Too many times it's been told And I have had enough Love stories to get old And you might think it's tough But I've got to let your love run cold We're taking back control (we're taking back control) You need to know

I don't need your love, no, no No, I don't need your love, no, no Can't let it get the better of us, no, no I don't need your love, no, no

I don't need your love (I don't need your love) no, no No, I don't need your love (I don't need your love) I don't need your love I don't need your love, no-no-no-no-no I don't need your love

We don't need your love

 SIX [THE QUEENS] 

He got down on one knee but I said no way Packed my bags and moved into a na na nunneray Joined the gospel choir our riffs were on fire At the top of the charts is where I'm gonna stay Henry sent me a poem all about my green sleeves I changed a couple words put it on a sick beat The song blew their minds next minute I was signed And now I'm writing lyrics for Shakesy P Since my first son, our family's grown We made a band and got quite well known You could perhaps call us the Tudor Von Trapps I'm just kidding, we're called the Royalling Stones

We're one of a kind no category Two many years lost in his story We're free to take, our crowing glory For five more minutes We're six

What a shame yeah my face it cost me the crown So I moved to the  Haus of Holbein in my home town His mates were super arty but I showed them how to party Now on my tour of Prussia everybody gets down Music man tried it on and i was like bye So I thought "who needs him?" I can give it a try I learned everything now all i do is sing... and I'll do that until I die Heard all about these rockin' chicks Loved every song and each remix So I went out and found them and we laid down an album Now I don't need your love, all I need is Six

We're one of a kind no category Two many years lost in his story We're free to take, our crowing glory For five more minutes We're six Woah woah we're six Wooooah we're six Woah woah For five more minutes

It's the end of the show of the historemix We switched up the flow and we changed the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives But we want to say before we drop the curtain Nothing is for sure nothing is for certain All that we know is that we used to be six wives

We're one of a kind no category Two many years lost in his story We're free to take, our crowing glory For five more minutes We're one of a kind no category Two many years lost in his story We're free to take, our crowing glory For five more minutes We're six Woah woah we're six Wooooah we're six Woah woah For five, four, three, two, one more minutes We're six